I'll be back

Been busy cookin and organisin
Will get back to this soon.

What do you do when you can't fall any lower?

EDUCATE YOURSELF

If I could put a few words down once in a while

I might get the feeling of slight accomplishment? Waiting for momentum to roll me into production. I can type or pen down a storm in this time I've been wasting. Waiting for something that's not going to find me and I could at least meet it halfway.

I have a lot to get done this season and a lot to be ready to part with. Transitions and solutions, conclusions, and farewells.

You are insane and you keep me dancing

And you are responsible for my abnormal breath
I beg every morning and night for the refreshing sound of the pattern of your footsteps,
will I watch your walk today?
Fascination with your pattern and print
I leave questions unanswered for reason...

Repose

Flames flash as a film on an old flickering reel
Dances, signing different symbols
a spade more common
I wonder what a spade is significant of
In a dream?
What flow of the elements to
create smooth wisps of shades of fire
above and within the torches core?

I hear constant life in form of chirps, splashes and
a murmur of everyone's last request, desire, remorse
under these hundreds of stones marking death.
And what I think in this time and place is of the
image of everyone I love who is living, here
crowded behind me and facing their fate.
Illness in hand or every breath being
one heart beat closer to the ground.

Brutal teeth

I will follow you through every
time
I will charm your walk
Change your speech
See all that is behind you
and all this time,
waiting for your harsh tongue

When you show a smile or
say the right thing,
I'll run for the roof
watch the sun in denial
Passing time
and wasting

Hiatus ish

This looks like the escape I need.

Busy keeping busy lately. Photos to sift through, friends to relate to, projects to finish, songs to hear, places to be.

Also very badly missing this:

Find your place

Wish you were here a witness to givings in
And a few drinks to finish the cradling buzz
Past and floundering a new decade or so
Altered evenings and a digeri-
do your shapes and your words and your audible means
are bound to lift me up out of this temptation teasing feel
of the summer,
fresh and heated skin on a
slow roasting afternoon and a
gathering of kin or kind of comforting you
And you're lovely

Left me beggin to the birds

Currently reading

"To escape from the weight of the world, I leave my body where it is, in conversation or at dinner, and walk through a series of winding streets to a house standing back from the road.
"The streets are badly lit and the distance from one side to the other is no more than the span of my arms. The stone crumbles, the cobbles are uneven. The people who throng the streets shout at each other, their voices rising from the mass of heads and floating upwards towards the church spires and the great copper bells that clang the end of the day. Their words, rising up, from a thick cloud over the city, which every so often must be thoroughly cleansed of too much language. Men and women in balloons fly up from the main square and, armed with mops and scrubbing brushes, do battle with the canopy of words trapped under the sun.
...
"I once accompanied a cleaner in a balloon and was amazed to hear, as the sights of the city dropped away, a faint murmuring like bees."

Crookedest

"I think maybe you're gettin' a little bit invisible."

"A BEAR DOESN'T BOTHER OWNIN' LAND, 'CAUSE HE KNOWS HE'S GONNA DIE. BUT THE LAND WILL GO ON WITHOUT HIM.
OWNIN' DON'T MEAN A THING, SO HE GOES ABOUT THE REST OF HIS LIFE-- HE EATS, HE SLEEPS, HE MATES, AND HE DIES.
HE THINKS IT'S A PRETY GOOD LIFE…
...AND BEARS IS SMART FOLKS."







Green Arrow #40

Credit to Mike Grell and DC Comics

I love a charade

Screenshots taken myself

Die Welträtsel

I am completely in admiration of the work of Ernst Haeckel, I am in love with the intricacy of his talent. Sensible, brilliant theories and a coordinated hand

Amazing detail perfection, diverse subjects- diagrams to arranged subjects to scenes.
All photos credit to public domain source Wikimedia

Someone's got to help me dig

These plants have been time consuming but rewarding... Relaxation is sitting on the patio with a cup of coffee and a craft in progress.

Bell peppers (big and baby), grape tomatoes, cucumbers and leeks.
In containers: Lemon verbena, thyme, rosemary.
Unknown flowers and dirty succulents.

San Francisco

The sweetest treat. This city and surrounding is one I'd forever wanted to visit, and the perfect last impression of the US before our departure. I wish I had a description for you but I honestly can't choose the best part. I was incredibly happy to be with the most beautiful boys and lady, seeing the sights with other's eyes also ready for upcoming enlightening views.

Chasing the other's tail

This coast

It sounds right, the city begins to feel small once you've covered it's map

I've become very good at being patient

"Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases from being shared."

After reading this aloud my uncle responded, "Neither does anger."

Family has been extremely influential to me lately, in ways positive and negative. I'm exposed to material consumption and petty complaints, which I don't deny I easily can agree with. I'm turned onto interesting films and praise and encouragement the next day. I am amazed by the sight of a speck of a planet over the sun, which I admire with the family I grew up with. I have every bit of the variety of family character between both, all coincidentally in the same bit of town.

I love the ones who raised me more than the world, and depend on them for half the things I can't provide for myself. I love the ones I've come to know after falling into obsession with this boy, I'm consistently amazed that it's returned, and of course, they provide the next half of what I can't gain alone. Knowing these people will never disappear is one anchor; my inspiration from surroundings and things unknown, and desire to see the world, that's what fuels my engine. Being extremely visual, it's comfortable gazing upon a new interesting work of art or a pretty palette of colors on a wall or of the clothing on a person. This has obviously become a stimulating habit for loads of people, and I'm glad to be one who can gain from this more than others. Maybe this is a somewhat selfish thing to say, or makes me seem to ahead of myself, but whatever. I've been so driven the last few months, it's impossible not to be inspired by everything with which I cross paths.

I don't think this is where I planned to end up when I started writing this, but I'm thinking I need to start posting more often or this will never develop into anything consistent.

I know that I've said this before.

We've got an apartment, more space than before as well as a yard, and I have a feeling this is going to be a grand summer. We have brought our cat home and settled again. The next couple years of saving for our next escapade should be more focused on getting some classes out of the way and testing business ideas. For right now my energy will be spent designing our new place and playing housewife…

I'm falling apart

4 weeks in Peru, 2 left to go. I'll post more elaborately with narrated photos once we return home, but for now I'm struggling with a serious issue.
Prescribed doxycycline hyclate to prevent malaria, we determined we are to take this daily for the entirety of our 6 weeks here. I had no idea the side effects would be this harsh.
The first I was worried about is yeast complications, imbalance involving candida and potential gallbladder problems, and possibility (likeliness) of yeast infection in women. I have been taking a yeast balancing herbal supplement that has so far proven effective, but I now have one dose left, and no idea how to communicate this with a pharmacist.
Second: digestive issues. Any reader doesn't want to read this (sorry if you happen to be the rare one to come across this) but it's also more than possible to develop colitis from diarrhea as a side effect. This is the one cause of the intense abdominal pain and stomach stress I'm dealing with. I initially thought it was purely a gallbladder infection (if that's a proper term?) but all signs point toward.. Everything, more than I want to think about.
I honestly don't know why I'm still taking this antibiotic.
We're anticipating Macchu Picchu this next week, a 4-5 day trip involving bus rides, hiking along train tracks and staying in towns along the way.
This is the biggest of my excitement (!!) and of my worries. I know that I really have it in me to fix this, it's just a matter of changing my diet and getting medical advice. I plan to see a bilingual clinic tomorrow, I haven't been able to find assuring advice on travel forums I've been scouring.
About the diet, one thing every traveler has realized, and I'm certain of this, is that you aren't always in control of what your meal options are.
Having an apartment in Cusco is life saving. We try to cook as much as we can from the markets in town, where we can save money and obtain more - healthy fresh ingredients, beans, vegetables, regional fruits, fresh baked breads, suspect meats, fish, strange local delicacies. I've seen a lady with a bucket of frogs in water awaiting their fate to be skinned and boiled.
Though we've been lazy lately, I won't deny... Relying on our local super mercado for easy pasta and cartons of juice, sandwich ingredients.
This will all change when we get back into the ready and able mindsets of the unknown possibilities. I'm starting to miss hostel-hopping, utilizing whatever challenging kitchen available, finding our favorite sandwich place in town. This is what Lima, Yurimaguas and Iquitos were about entirely. Much more adventure. More on those experiences in future posts once I have access to a real computer (acquiring a new device when we're home...)
To conclude this scattered bit, I am hoping to find medications that will work along with the doxy without causing any other complications I'm convinced will lead to an ulcer - thankfully I'm aware of my hypochondria. I'm incredibly excited for the next week.5, we will finally be seeing the ruins of the sacred valley and putting our backpacks to good use.
Wish me luck falling asleep tonight.

Leave your puzzles to the competent

Take it to heart.
Deserving of gold if you can accept other's needs
Share the loot
It was never yours, go back home
You never meant to be here on this hunt
If you believe it's to please
Out of selfishness or driven conceit
Ignore your find, leave it to be
Hope for driven, deserving feet

Controversion

I want to be it all. Rugged and penniless, pristine and secure. I need to see it all and crawl in a cave. I hold the earth dear and close, I get lost in depths never known to man. I settle restlessly. I abuse and nurture. I welcome, I repel. I forget what I've learned. I suppose it's talent, being so pliable. Then I thought I was talentless.

To do

I feel that a lot can be done about it. I hate drastic. I hate that I love drastic. I admire those so versatile. I fuck up every night. I so easily can fuck up anything not even willing. I can snap your neck with a fraction of a thought. I try not to...

All Standing

I could visit each country in the world for the first time and each adventure could never compare to the thrill I’m overcome with when my fingers sail over your body. Every changing dimension of your torso and your limbs, all waves I hungrily pass, ready and braced for the next one. I feel like I’m sailing.
“It only works with your eyes closed.” I really feel as if I’m there. There’s no sea more exhilarating in the world.
I won’t forget your sharing of experience with the swifts in the chimney. All whirling up inside there, mating and all. You held your breath just to listen. Alert and unaware that your body was unconsciously as focused as your head. You remember the release and the harmony of their whirs and your awing breath.
A little bit of each of us had evaporated in the time concentrated on our actions. We were recycling or insides and our spirits.

Rise

I am amazed. I can never find myself able to dislike anybody's flaws, only to love them more than their perfections. I really can't ever see the difference. I admire every bit of your self. I might not even be comprehending it all, and for our sakes I hope I never discover more. I am a hazard to myself and you and you and I love living this way. In a way this may be the best form of enlightenment.